![]() ![]() It’s something I want to do," Coffey shared. ![]() "My husband and I are about to celebrate our 20-year wedding anniversary this year, and I’m about to start the process of legally changing my last name. Coffey is in the process of changing her name. It was as if some paperwork had slipped my mind somehow, and I had missed out on ordering the team jersey.” After two decades of marriage, Laura T. ![]() “But when our team gained a third member, my son, I suddenly felt like I wasn’t quite displaying the team spirit with gusto. Coffey, TODAY Parenting Team editor, who didn’t change her name when she first got married. "My husband and I have always been a team," noted Laura T. Your feelings about your last name might change over time. Then and now: Gandhi and her husband on their wedding day (top), and today, 20 years later (bottom). "Once my daughter figured it out, she said, 'I'm not changing my name either,'" Gandhi said. "My daughter is in seventh grade and she recently said to me, 'OMG, you're Bela Gandhi (my maiden name).' She never thought about it," said Gandhi, founder of the Smart Dating Academy, who has been married for 20 years and decided not to change her name two days before her wedding. Your kids won't care - they might not even notice. Under 'Kim, Eun' it said, 'see Van Der Werf.'"Īs a newlywed, I've already noticed this - letters, wedding gifts and Christmas cards all come addressed to Mr. The clincher came the first time I opened the student and parent directory from their school. Van Der Werf.' After my kids started school, even more people assumed I shared their last name. "No matter who I identified as their mother on medical forms, the staff at their pediatrician’s office always referred to me as 'Mrs. "I noticed more people began ignoring my given, and by then, chosen, last name after I had kids," said Eun Kim, TODAY contributing writer. People will call you by your husband's last name after you have kids. "It makes security more difficult because the names don’t match - and it may just make the father feel like he’s even more disconnected from his baby (a baby who may not be going home any time soon)." 6. "While this could be a minor annoyance or ego blow for the proud papa if you’re in the hospital for the standard two-day recovery period, it’s more difficult if you have a NICU baby," O'Malley elaborated. "You can see the offensive 'Baby Girl O'Malley' on the name tag here," O'Malley joked. "If you have a baby, they’ll call the baby 'Baby girl or boy (mother’s last name)' on all of the name tags and paperwork after birth - whether you’re planning to name the baby your husband’s (last) name or not," explained Margaret O'Malley, NBC News BETTER editor. If you have a baby, the hospital will end up calling the baby by your last name, not your husband’s. "Everyone assumes that my brother is my husband, and that my sister-in-law and I are his sister wives, because we all share the same last name," said Tomooka. People may assume that your brother is your husband. 'You're right, I should have changed my name.'" They're just looking to pick a fight, Gandhi said, and if you agree with them, there is nothing to argue about. "And the easiest way to deal with these people is just to agree with them. "That's more about them than you," Bela Gandhi, relationship expert and founder of the Smart Dating Academy, told me. I found nothing - there's also not much out there about what kind of reaction the rest of your world will have to your personal decision. And now that we're married, I think he's OK with me remaining a Frank - though he's still hoping someday I'll come around.īefore he brought up the convo, I scoured the internet for tips on how to broach this conversation with your significant other, and any advice from women whose husbands may not have taken the news so easily. So I passive aggressively avoided revisiting the conversation. Laura Marie PhotoĪt the time, he was caught off guard and got upset. Even though I decided not to change my name, we were still announced as Mr. ![]() Followed by: "I wouldn't change my byline at work, so what's the point in changing my name personally?"įinally, I elaborated that I was very close with my grandfather on my dad's side of the family, and felt that keeping "Frank" as my last name helped me stay connected to him and our family's history. ![]()
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